I miss my old-self

It's just so fucking great being able to drink till the early hours... or late hours, I don't know. I've been up for almost 24h, after being at Roger Waters' gig and drinking for 12h. So cool man...
I'm in a screw-it-all fase... I was telling my friends that I like myself that way, you know, being bitter and drunk and wanting to piss people off. I miss my old-self, you know? Of course I like making money and saving for the next best thing, but at the same time I miss that part of me that would just spend it all in silly things or booze or reckless drunken nights. I do miss my old-self... That's when I had the best laughs and the best time of my life. My old-self...
I'm in a "trainee assistant manager" position now. It's good, but it's tiring and fucked up and a bitch. I miss calling in sick or making up the most unbeliveable excuses not to turn up at work.
Slacking everything all the way through... That's what contributed to make me what I am now... I've always been in some sort of denial and I just wish I could have that feeling back, you know? Since I'm so fucked up why not embracing the fucking thing once and for all?
But I think little by little I'm becoming my old-self again. Slacker, bitter, fucked up, and above all, hopeless. Yeah, that's me alright...
I guess I have to start listening to the songs that made me feel so good.
I guess I have to go underground...
"I need a SAGA" (QOTSA)