Still waiting

Well, it's been officially a month. I get more anxious every day and when I feel like this I can't stop eating. Not that I don't do that normally, but now it's worse. I just can't stop and I'm starting to feel, well, anxious! Anxious about thigs that don't seem to be working and also about my oversizing process.
I'm totally nervous about the visa and also about money. I'm starting to think about what I'm really going to do in Sao Paulo. I don't know if I'll be able to gather enough cash to pay for the US visa and also live with dignity for 10 days there. I've lost many students for the past few months and what I was planning to do at the beginning of the year is now falling apart. I need to buy some things here before I go, take cabs in SP, go out, see my friends there. I don't know if I'll manage to take more than £100 to London. Paula's gonna kill me for that.
At the same time I just can't wait to see this finished. You know when you can't think clearly anymore? I'm there, teaching, talking to students, but I can't get involved as I used to last year or the year before. I can see that this is totally affecting my work, I don't know if students notice as well. Maybe they do and don't mention because, hey, she's leaving within a couple of months so this will be over soon.
I wanna post good news, but I still cannot do this.